Great Gatsby Chapter Ten
by JennS
Summary: An additional chapter to The Great Gatsby


It had been five years since I had been back to East Egg. In certain ways it felt like a lot longer but in other ways it seemed like it was only yesterday. Being back there almost made me feel like I had traveled back in time five years, back to that summer where so much of my life took place. I don't know if I ever really expected to be back...that chapter in my life has been closed for so long and looking back now I feel like a completely different person. I was meeting Daisy. She moved back here shortly after Gatsby's funeral. She wrote to me several times throughout the years informing me about her life now and in her last letter she had invited me to come visit. I got the impression from the letter that she was lonely and just wanted someone to talk to. Tom had left her and ever since I think that she had been in a state of depression. She wasn't used to being alone. Her letters had become much less frequent yet her mentions of Gatsby more common. It almost made me angry every time she mentioned him so casually without any hints of guilt on her part.   
  
We had planned to meet in a small cafe which was in the city. As I drove through the city looking for the place I passed by the ever-knowing eyes of Dr. Eckleberg and felt lost and small under his gaze. I wasn't sure if I really should have come back at all. What was I planning to achieve? I jerked to a stop in front of a nicely kept brick building with a bright yellow sign reading "Eddie's Cafe." I walked in and felt uplifted by the bright and cheerful atmosphere of the restaurant The bright red and yellow painted furniture sung of joy. There were large windows on either side of the small building, each allowing a great amount of light to illuminate the room. I glanced around and instantly was drawn to her small figure over at a booth in the far off corner of the room which was the only area where the light did not reach. She looked almost childlike the way she was hunched over and giving off the impression to all the other occupants in the room that she wanted to be left alone. When she noticed me approaching, her face immediately opened up with a smile, but a dispirited vibe still projected off of her. In that moment I could see how much she had changed since that summer. Not only did she seem so fragile and isolated but her physical appearance had changed a great deal also. I noticed that she was wearing a light blue and slightly worn dress and her hair was pulled back into a ponytail. She seemed to have changed so much that my previous bad feelings toward her diminished.  
  
"Hello, Nick," Daisy greeted me and motioned with her hand for me to sit down. Something was very off about her voice. It no longer held that strong conviction and self assurance that it once did.   
  
"Hello, Daisy. It's really great to see you again," I realized as I took a seat in the bench across from her. We talked for many hours, but neither of us seemed to notice the time passing. I was starting to see her very differently than the selfish and uncaring woman whom I had once known. It surprised me how much she seemed to be affected by Gatsby's death. It seemed odd to me, but maybe it took his death for her to come to terms with what she felt towards him. It still confused me as to why she was so cold-hearted after his death and didn't even bother to attend the funeral and I knew I had to ask her about that.   
  
Before I had time to question Daisy any further I heard someone clearing their throat in an attempt to capture my attention. I swung around in my seat and caught sight of a lovely woman in her mid thirty's with shoulder length red hair. I knew instantly that I had seen this woman before, but I was unable to place her with any memories.   
  
"Nick Carraway, is that you?" she inquired and immediately I recognized who she was. Her shorter hair and slightly aged face threw me off, but her milky white complexion and abundance of jewelry clanking around her neck trigged my memories.  
  
"Catherine, hello. How have you been?" I questioned her, utterly shocked at the unexpectedness of the situation.   
  
"I'm doing fine," she assured me. "It has been such a long time," she said in a far off tone. I noticed her staring oddly at Daisy and I realized that they had never met, so I introduced the two. There seemed to be a bit of awkwardness at first when they realized who each other were but soon the tension started to ease and we were able to talk casually. The topic of Myrtle came up and even though Catherine had come to terms with everything that happened in the past, I could tell that it still pained her to talk about her sister's death.   
  
"I felt like the world was ending when Myrtle died. For a long time I denied to everyone the relationship that Myrtle had with Tom. Even though I had supported their relationship when she was alive, I just couldn't let her be portrayed like that. There was so much more to her," Catherine explained to us. She looked almost apologetic for saying anything when she realized that this might not be the best topic to discuss with Daisy there. "I'm so sorry, Daisy. I'm sure this is not want you want to hear," Catherine apologized but Daisy assured her that she was perfectly all right. I noticed that she was starting to tense up again and despite her assurance that she was all right, this situation was upsetting her. I decided that it would most likely be best if we left so I exchanged numbers with Catherine and promised to keep in touch even though we both knew that it was likely neither one of us would. I offered Daisy a ride home hoping that it would give us the chance to really talk. The drive started off peacefully quiet but I knew that one question was still lingering in my mind and I had to ask.  
  
"I do have one thing that has been bothering me for a while now that I want to ask you," I stumbled for the words, not really knowing how to approach the topic. It still seemed like a very close and emotional subject for Daisy, but I decided it would be best just to ask straight out. "Why didn't you even bother to show up to the funeral?" I asked not having to clarify who's funeral I was alluding to. She looked down into her lap for a moment and her face overcame with a distant glare and I was almost sorry that I had brought this up at all. It was obvious that she was deeply devastated by his death, why couldn't I have just left it at that?   
  
"I honestly can't give you a good answer to that, Nick," Daisy looked back up at me as she began to speak, "Everything was just so confusing. I hadn't really had a chance to deal with the fact that he was dead and Tom just wanted to get out of there as soon as possible and so I went with him," she stoped talking again and looked back down into her lap. I started to think that she had finished but then she looked back up into my eyes and I almost thought that I saw something close to shame in them. "I...I know how I acted was completely selfish and inconsiderate, and there's nothing I can do to take that back. I'm not even talking about just after his death, but just how I was back then. I used him and I never even stopped to consider how much I was damaging him. I truly did love him and I threw out the chance to be with him all because of my own pride. I missed the chance to have the one thing that actually matters in life and there's no way to get that back now," Daisy barely managed to get all of this out.   
  
This whole situation seemed so ironic to me and also made me see how helpless we all are in the great scheme of things. I thought back to Gatsby and how utterly devoted to Daisy he was during his life and how much he lived for this moment where Daisy was finally able to get past her own vanity and be able to admit that she loved him. He never blamed her or even looked down on her because of this though. Now, Daisy has finally come to terms with her feelings and found the one thing she wanted in life, but it was no longer an achievable dream and she would have to live out her life knowing that nothing would ever be able to fill that emptiness. Neither Daisy's nor Gatsby's dreams seemed all that impossible or unattainable to an outsider; all that they wanted was love, but this dream was so much farther than they could ever imagine.   
  
I wanted to say something that would comfort Daisy, but I truly didn't think there was anything that would be able to accomplish that. I just sat there and listened to her because I think that is what she needed. She had obviously been bottling these emotions inside of herself for such a very long time. Ever since I've known her she has never been one to be open with her feelings because she was afraid of allowing people to see that side of her.   
  
"Nick, I just want to thank you for coming and not turning your back on me like you so easily could have. I've done so many things that I am not proud, and you were there during a lot of them. I hope we can do this more often. It's nice to have someone like you to talk with."  
  
"Of course, we will have to see each other again soon. It has been such a pleasure being able to see you again Daisy," I told her, meaning every word of it.   
  
Daisy had been living those past five years with a self-hatred at the manner in which she used to live, but I feel like our meeting had taken some of that away and made her be able to put some of it in the past. As for me, I had been holding a lot of indignation towards Daisy and been puzzled as to why she had acted the way she did in the past. With this meeting I was been able to see a whole new side to Daisy and it helped me let go of a lot of the pain that I have still been carrying around with me since Gatsby's death. I no longer felt so betrayed by her and I can see that Gatsby was not the only victim in all of this. We passed by the eyes of T.J Eckleburg and this time it felt different. His knowing eyes looked down upon us with pride as a father would look upon his children who had just made a major step in their lives and become the people that he always knew they had inside them. 


End file.
